Screen Door

Dear Whoever You Are,

I have the best Facebook chats on early Saturday mornings.

First, some background.  I had this girlfriend a while back.  We had some wonderful times together, but ultimately we got to where our relationship wasn't going to go any further.  It wasn't much fun for either party when things ended, but I learned a lot from our time together and even more from our separation (all lessons that I will take heed of when I meet you).  In any case, we have since managed to forge a pretty solid friendship.

So we were Facebook chatting this morning.  She has met a fellow that she has some interest in.  By all accounts, he’s a pretty nice guy (I would expect no less) and he seems to give her some measure of comfort and happiness.  It appears that more could be at hand for them.  For my part, I am all for it. She is my friend and I want happiness for her.  

She shared that, relative to the aforementioned gentleman, she’s been feeling a bit vulnerable of late. Like most of us, she’s not a huge fan of feeling that way.  I certainly don’t fault her for that.  It’s a scary proposition to hand someone your heart and presume that they will handle this fragile thing with all due care.  

I think, though, the prospect of what could be is well worth any risk.  

My friend is being smart about how she proceeds.  She’s looking at this person and this situation through a metaphorical screen door. She’s there and involved, but still being careful with her heart.  I get it.  I've been hurt too, and it’s human nature to want to avoid that.  Also, I've seen far too many people leap headlong into a situation they probably shouldn't be in, with a person that’s maybe not right for them and she’s certainly far too smart than to go that route.

Ultimately one has to open that door, however.  I hope she will get to that point where she feels safe and comfortable and will open that metaphorical screen door to let this person in.  It’s okay to feel a little vulnerable... that means you care.  Also, there’s much to be said for feeling vulnerable together (I bet the guy in question feels much the same way).  The potential upside is worth some risk.  In the end, though, you won’t know if you don’t try.

Taking that leap to let someone into your heart takes no small amount of courage.  Great things almost always require some degree of risk, whether it’s romance or standing up for yourself or pursuing that big dream that could change your life.  In the end, you don’t serve yourself well if you don’t show some courage and try… there are few things worse than the regret of not going for something amazing.

So whenever it is that I meet you, try to be a little patient with me.  I have a screen door of my own, just as we all do.  Eventually I will open the door, reach out, and take your hand.  Step in with me and we can be vulnerable together.  I hope you’ll let me in too.  I promise you it will be well worth the risk.