Dear Whoever You Are,
I’m going to go out on a limb here and state that I’m probably not going to meet you through a dating site. One might think that such sites would be the most likely venues to meet my future paramour, but more and more I’m thinking that won’t be the case.
Why?
I know you can spell and put together a sentence. It’s important to understand that I’m a writer and an editor (more on that another time), so I’m hyper-aware of such things. At the same time, it’s not as if I go through the profiles I find on OKCupid or Match.com and nitpick them as if I’m a fifth grade English teacher. None of us are perfect (spoiler alert: I’m not perfect either).
I’m talking about run-on sentences that are so long it’s almost impossible to figure out the point the person is trying to make in that particular sentence and it’s very confusing and makes my brain hurt and I really want the sentence to stop but it goes on and on and on and eventually I just give up on reading and move on.
I’m talking about PEOPLE WHO TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND IT MAKES ME THINK THEY’RE SCREAMING AT ME AND I DON’T LIKE THAT AT ALL.
I’m talking about people who can’t (won’t?) use something as simple as spell check.
Since I’m on the subject of discourse on dating sites, I’m guessing that any message you would send to introduce yourself would be somewhat more articulate than “hi” or “hiya” or “u wanna chat”. I’m sure you’re aware that person on the other end wants to know a little bit about you and what’s more, why you think the two of you should meet.
I know you treat people the same way you would want to be treated. I've been stood up recently, and guess what? It sucked. I wouldn't dream of doing that to anyone and I know you wouldn't either. Somehow this veil of anonymity the internet provides gives people the license to be flat-out rude and often untruthful. Since I know you’re a thoughtful person with a kind heart, you would never treat someone so poorly.
I know you have a positive attitude. So many people on these sites go on and on about how they don’t want any “players” or “games” or “drama”. Not only have such statements become the cliches of the internet, they also tell the person reading your profile absolutely nothing. Guess what... nobody wants games or drama. One might as well say in their profile that they don’t want to get run over by a cement truck.
People want to hear about what you want, not what you don’t want. For example, I’d love to meet someone with some brains and class and heart, someone that has a smile that can light up a room. Someone who makes my life better just because she’s in it. Not too much to ask, right?
I know you have some class. I can really do without the duckface bathroom mirror selfies and pictures of women in their early forties flashing gang signs. Both of the above are a total turn-off to just about any man who happens to be looking for an adult relationship. Such pictures will probably only attract the “players” and other species of men that are best avoided.
I know you want more. I know you want more than having someone around just to pass time or stave off loneliness. I know you want more than to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship... I see people do that from time to time and it never ends well.
I will say that online dating has yielded some good things for me. I've met some cool people I likely wouldn't have otherwise, a couple of whom have actually become good friends. I've also learned a lot about people in general, both good and bad. That’s always a good thing.
So as above, I’m guessing I won’t meet you through a dating site. I suppose that begs the question of where. I suppose I’ll figure that one out later.
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