Twenty Seconds

Dear Whoever you Are,

I needed a belt.

No, not a belt of whiskey.  An actual belt that would go around my waist and presumably hold my pants up.  In the course of a number of workouts, I found that I had lost some weight, so a new belt (or two) became an imperative.  

With my three boys in tow, we headed to the nearby Goodwill. I did, of course, immediately forget about my belt quest and was drawn to the book section (nothing beats a good, cheap book, right?).  I saw an enormous mug, probably eight inches high and decorated in a birthday motif, on a shelf with some cookbooks.  I picked up the mug and hefted it.

“I don’t think this is a book,” I said to the woman standing next to me.  Perhaps not my finest witticism, but she laughed anyway, a shy yet somehow bright smile on her face. In retrospect, I suppose I should have said something more and perhaps engage her in conversation.  She was attractive to be sure and was possessed of a quiet, kind demeanor.  In short, someone I’d like to meet and get to know.

I perused the rest of the store (yes, I found a belt!) and saw her throughout.  A good deal of eye contact occurred, yet I didn’t say another word to her.  I gathered up my boys, paid for my snazzy new belt, and we went on our way.

I was kicking myself as we drove away (not literally, as that wouldn’t have been conducive to safe driving).  Why didn’t I say anything?  How hard would it have been to say something like this:
“Maybe this is a little forward, but somehow you just seem like a really cool person. Here’s my phone number… maybe you could give me a call sometime and we could grab a cup of coffee.”

The probable worst outcome would have been a polite “no”.  It’s not likely she would have laughed or pulled out a can of mace or kneed a vulnerable spot on my body.  
So what was I afraid of?  One would think I could have handled this… I’ve cold-called Fortune 500 companies.  I’ve sparred with a fourth-degree black belt. Etc. Etc.  Yet I couldn’t muster the courage to ask out this woman with a sweet face and a shy smile.

There’s a movie called We Bought a Zoo.  It’s the story of a recently widowed man who... well, buys a zoo.  He has to balance getting the zoo back in shape so he can reopen it with raising his kids, all the while mourning for his late wife. It’s a very enjoyable movie (perhaps I’ll watch it with you sometime).

At one point, the main character reminisces about the day he met his wife.  He said it took just “twenty seconds of insane courage” to approach her… twenty seconds that changed his life.

The incident at Goodwill wasn’t the first time, of course.  There was the woman at the library a couple months ago.  A couple weeks ago, the coffeeshop.  I hope none of them were you… though I have a feeling if that were the case, the universe would be kind and grant me another chance.

Next time I’ll have to find that twenty seconds of insane courage and go for it.  I’m confident that next time will come soon.  After all, the world is full of beautiful women and you are one of them.